So, uh...

I've been struggling with this post because I knew I would want to write this:

Sorry about the hiatus. I've been getting treatment for depression.

This is a happy blog, with cupcakes in the title, so I won't go into too many icky details. Suffice it to say that this is a real condition, and it blows. I was drowning inside. I slowly stopped functioning. I didn't recognize my own face in the mirror. Horrible, poisonous words spewed out of my mouth. I hurt people I loved and pushed everyone else away. I really mean this…if you need help, get it.

Whew, that's out of the way.

Fast forward to July. Things are looking up. As a matter of fact, they're pretty freakin' sweet.

Life-Sweetness Exhibit A: The progression of my bathroom mirror photos... (I kind of have a thing, all right? Bite me.)

...from this: (I was smiling in both of these, I swear, no joke.)

...to this:

(*Cool points if you can name the movie reference on my t-shirt.)

...and occasionally this:

Life-Sweetness Exhibit B: I can run 2.5 miles without stopping. So what if I get passed by hunched-over old men and ladies pushing strollers of triplets? I look really cute. Observe:

(*Cool points if you can name the TV show reference on my t-shirt.)

Hmmmm.

I did go and buy myself my first pair of for-serious running shoes. They's my magic shews. Pretty much pillows stuffed with muffins and puppies, wrapped in rainbows.

I had the perfect excuse to spend the bucks on them after I ruined my last pair...

(*Cool points for me for wearing a t-shirt that says, "Life is such a beach.")

Just try not to be impressed. Try.

Life-Sweetness Exhibit C: This one is bittersweet. Bwahahaha! Fuck that, Ramona is gone. I bought myself a new ride. I am the proud new mom of this hot little number...

Not only does she have working brakes and a floor that I can't see the road through...she has a moonroof! And...music!!! Sigh...I love her.

So I suppose I'll need to rename the blog at some point. Being a bit of a free spirit, I figured I'd let my new car pick her own name when she's ready. If she picks Malibu Barbie or Chocolate Chip or Rainbow, I'll just have to live with it.

Road Trippin' Rules

I went on a road trip last weekend from Harrisburg, PA to Dallas, TX...1,438 miles, for anyone interested. Now, because this was a bit of a last-minute trip, I did not adhere to the Road Trippin' Rules. Forgivable in this case, but if you're planning your own excursion, try to adhere to these tips for maximum funnage.

1. Road snacks are a necessary item. Preferred foods are Combos (pizza-flavored) and M&Ms (peanut, unless you're an allergic freak), but it is essential to stick purely to processed foods. Note: Hostess products may be a temptation at the gas station, but stay away. They are not car-friendly. Especially fruit pies.

2. Play car games. "Punch buggy" and the license plate game are two great standbys. I was introduced on this trip to two new games, both of which I lost royally, so I do not recommend those games those games are dumb.

3. Stock your iPod. Tunes are a must on long road trips, and it's best if you create an extra-special road trip mix, including hits like Willie Nelson's "On the Road Again" and Tom Cochrane's "Life is a Highway." Stay away from  "I Can't Drive 55" by Van Halen. Why? Because that song sucks.

4. Roadside attractions like five-legged cows and the biggest ball of string are purely for your entertainment. Fork over the $12 admission, ya tightwad, and check out the prairie dog city.

5. Regarding roadside restrooms: hover.

6. Wear loose clothing. Road bloat is real. Air conditioning + Combos + giving in to the Hostess temptation + McDonald's + busting your lungs to Tom Petty's "Free Falling" = gas.



7. Drive the speed limit, dumb ass. Especially in Virginia. Or anywhere in the southern states if you have New York tags. Have you seen My Cousin Vinny?

8. Stay awake...caffeinate. I am witness to the miraculous effect that seven cups of coffee and two Red Bulls can have.