P is for Paris.

P is also for pee. Which is what the entire city of Paris smells like. Sorry to any Parisian folks, but your  city stinks.

Otherwise, here's my trip (yes, from October) in a nutshell:

• My French sucks. One lady even had to slowly repeat "MA-YO-NNAISE" several times.
• I could live on baguettes alone.
• Hot chocolate in America is bullshit.
• Parisian men have fantastic hair. Fantastic. Amazing. 
• I can get lost in a paper bag.

But man...what an amazing trip. I've found that I love traveling alone. And I spent my birthday evening on a terrace looking up at the Basilique du Sacré-Coeur, dining on duck, pastries, and champagne, with new friends from all over the world. How was your last birthday?

I don't care if Notre Dame is a tourist-laden nightmare. Amazeballs.

 Loved this bridge. Loved.

 Pretty sure every Disney character ever lives here.

Southern Fried Kidlets

I spent Labor Day weekend in

with my sister Anna and her family.

There are the twins, Madeline and Eli (4), and a new addition, Ward, who is two months old. If you're an aunt, you probably already know that you have to come bearing gifts. This consisted of circus peanuts, trucks for Eli, a princess beauty kit for Madeline, and a stuffed lion for Ward.

You could say the beauty kit was the hit of the weekend. In the kit was a selection on pink and purple hair accessories...and a tube of "lipstick." (A piece of plastic that looks like lipstick.) Madeline spent a lot of time deciding which clip(s) and scrunchies to adorn herself with each morning. And then there was the lipstick. She toted it around in a stuffed unicorn purse all weekend. And I have never seen anything like it. This little girl reapplied every 30 minutes.

"Oh, I just ate. My lipstick came off."
"I got sweaty playing outside. My lipstick came off."
"It's raining. My lipstick came off."

Hilarious.

We had a ton of fun playing outside.

At some point I was the bad witch(?) and the monkey bars lifter-upper. But mostly it was just, "Allison, watch me!"

They are total hams and posed for me at dinner time. I told them to "pretend you're eating." So they did.

But it was really because they didn't like what was for dinner at all, which they made crystal clear soon after.

I mentioned Ward. Remember?

It's kind of easy to forget this kid sometimes. He's so quiet. He just hangs out like this most of the time. Note the very serious expression. This is not just a random expression. This is how he looks all the time. I'm fairly certain he's a genius. He's pretty stinkin' cute, though.

I had fun with Anna and Brandon too, once all the little heads hit the pillows. We watched some serious football on Saturday. I had no idea that my bro-in-law played for Auburn his freshman year. Pretty bad-ass, right?

Dudes, I'm going to PARIS!

After blabbing incessantly about it for two years, I finally hit the Purchase button and got myself a ticket to Paris for my birthday in October.

Cheese! Chocolate! Croissants! Start your diets! Get out the elastic waist pants! I'M GOING TO PARIS!

I went to Paris once before, in high school, clearly at the height of my fashion awesomeness. (I'm on the far left.)

Nothing screams Parisian like baggy jort-overalls.

But this trip will be different. Not only has my style savvy evolved over the last 15 years, I'm also a super mature adult.

I'm a slight francophile. That's what happens when you start French lessons at age 7. I have an unusual enthusiasm for pastries, and like Monica Geller, I could live in a house of cheese. My middle name is even French. Of course, since neither of my parents speak one word of French, I actually have a French boy's middle name, minus the cool accent. But whatever. So what better way to celebrate a milestone like my 32nd birthday than a trip to the (imaginary) motherland?

Although the only thing I've done so far is bought a plane ticket, I've already pretty much planned the entire trip in my head. And of course, I have compiled a list of movies for inspiration.

View from the Top - This is like the worst movie. Ever. Seriously terrible. But it's about flight attendants, and I used to be a flight attendant. And Gwynnie looks pretty cute in her yellow outfit strolling around Paris by herself. I figure that will be me. Looking gorgeous, strolling around the city in lipstick and heels, sitting on benches, staring wistfully out into the distance. Yeah, that's about right.

Amélie - This is the quintessential Parisian flick. If my visit is like this, I'm not coming back.

Midnight in Paris - While a lot of this movie takes place in the 1920s, it is beautiful nonetheless. I don't plan to do any time traveling while I'm there. If I do, it will be with my sports almanac so I can make a fortune betting, like Biff Tannen.

Something's Gotta Give - Diane Keaton always plays rich chicks. Basically I just want to go to Paris with her so she can buy me stuff.

Hotel Chevalier - This prologue to The Darjeeling Limited takes place in a Paris hotel room. It combines Paris, room service, Jason Schwartzman and Natalie Portman, all of which I am in love with. My long-term plan is to live a life of luxury in a beautiful Parisian hotel. This will be a location scouting trip for that.