I'm moving to a new address.
http://turquoisehandlebars.blogspot.com/
Come visit! And bring gifts!
...and then I found five dollars.
A blog without a point.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Sunday, March 18, 2012
P is for Paris.
P is also for pee. Which is what the entire city of Paris smells like. Sorry to any Parisian folks, but your city stinks.
Otherwise, here's my trip (yes, from October) in a nutshell:
But man...what an amazing trip. I've found that I love traveling alone. And I spent my birthday evening on a terrace looking up at the Basilique du Sacré-Coeur, dining on duck, pastries, and champagne, with new friends from all over the world. How was your last birthday?
Otherwise, here's my trip (yes, from October) in a nutshell:
- My French sucks. One lady even had to slowly repeat "MA-YO-NNAISE" several times.
- I could live on baguettes alone.
- Hot chocolate in America is bullshit.
- Parisian men have fantastic hair. Fantastic. Amazing.
- I can get lost in a paper bag.
But man...what an amazing trip. I've found that I love traveling alone. And I spent my birthday evening on a terrace looking up at the Basilique du Sacré-Coeur, dining on duck, pastries, and champagne, with new friends from all over the world. How was your last birthday?
I don't care if Notre Dame is a tourist-laden nightmare. Amazeballs.
Loved this bridge. Loved.
Pretty sure every Disney character ever lives here.
Labels:
vacation
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Justins Party
Tuesday, 4:06 p.m. A text message from a number I don't recognize:
Is Kayla like planning justins party
Oh well. I was hitting a mid-afternoon slump.
Didn't you hear kayla was in a bus accident?
No I didn't
So your running the party
Yeah but I'm thinking about changing the theme. What do you think?
Um I just want to go a sport theme like the world series
How did she get In a bus accident
I don't know. She's been drinking a lot.
Who
Kayla. Everyone knows that.
O noo she was not in a accident and can I go to justin party
I don't want to do World Series. How about Rocky Horror Show?
Yea that works I really want to know if I can go. Jack and Mikey are going
Are Kayla and Justin still together?
What I don't know
Why wouldn't you be able to go?
I'm just asking to go I went last time I hate the science hw
IDK I'll think about it. Maybe you can do my HW for me. TTYT.
Bye
Labels:
procrastination,
why tuesdays suck
Friday, October 21, 2011
Another milestone reached.
Well, it finally happened.
My mother asked me if I'm a lesbian.*
I have crossed another bridge every single 30-something must bravely cross.
*I'm not. Yet.
Labels:
boyfriends,
pseudo-adulthood,
wouldya
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Pardon our dust.
Yep, the neon cupcakes are gone. Also, since Ramona is no more (RIP), I felt it was time for a new title.
Here's the quick explanation. A friend of a friend of a friend was dragging a story out until everyone's eyes were sufficiently glazed over. His extremely long-winded point? He found five dollars.
As most of the crap I blog about falls into the same utterly painful category, I feel like this is pretty accurate.
Here's the quick explanation. A friend of a friend of a friend was dragging a story out until everyone's eyes were sufficiently glazed over. His extremely long-winded point? He found five dollars.
As most of the crap I blog about falls into the same utterly painful category, I feel like this is pretty accurate.
I ought to wear a helmet.
So I woke up with a big puffy eye the other morning. To everyone's shock and disappointment, it was not pink eye. I am actually able to refrain from sticking the same fingers in my eye that I stick in my butt. I have two hands, people. No, this mini-shiner came from a direct face-wall collision the night before. If you are a long-time reader, you may recall that I hate getting up to pee at night. I bet you didn't know this was the reason. Fortunately, the only damage was a little goose egg-type situation that lasted about 24 hours.
I'm a walking disaster. At any given time, I am 98 percent guaranteed to have an injury somewhere. I will often find mysterious giant green bruises…on my ass. How do I get a bruised ass? Am I sitting with too much force? Are my britches too tight? What am I doing wrong?
I broke two fingers playing kickball when I was a kid. Who does that? I went to scoop up a gently rolling grounder. And broke two fingers. So 20 years later, here I am, back on a kickball team. (The KILFs. Don't hurt yourself figuring it out.) Proudest moment of the season? My face-first flop onto first base. Not into first base. Just onto it. In my defense, it was muddy. Which really just meant that I looked like an asshole…covered in mud. I almost passed that dive off as intentional. Almost. No, seriously. At least I didn't break anything. We'll see how indoor season goes this fall. A lot more hard surfaces involved there.
I'm just glad my name isn't Grace. That would be a lot of pressure. Grace Kelly pretty much killed it. But I would not have been able to hang. Who's got two thumbs and has walked all the way across a college campus with the back of her skirt tucked into her tights? This girl.
How am I still allowed to go out in public?
I'm a walking disaster. At any given time, I am 98 percent guaranteed to have an injury somewhere. I will often find mysterious giant green bruises…on my ass. How do I get a bruised ass? Am I sitting with too much force? Are my britches too tight? What am I doing wrong?
I broke two fingers playing kickball when I was a kid. Who does that? I went to scoop up a gently rolling grounder. And broke two fingers. So 20 years later, here I am, back on a kickball team. (The KILFs. Don't hurt yourself figuring it out.) Proudest moment of the season? My face-first flop onto first base. Not into first base. Just onto it. In my defense, it was muddy. Which really just meant that I looked like an asshole…covered in mud. I almost passed that dive off as intentional. Almost. No, seriously. At least I didn't break anything. We'll see how indoor season goes this fall. A lot more hard surfaces involved there.
I'm just glad my name isn't Grace. That would be a lot of pressure. Grace Kelly pretty much killed it. But I would not have been able to hang. Who's got two thumbs and has walked all the way across a college campus with the back of her skirt tucked into her tights? This girl.
How am I still allowed to go out in public?
Labels:
pseudo-adulthood
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