Sunday, July 17, 2011

Dudes, I'm going to PARIS!

After blabbing incessantly about it for two years, I finally hit the Purchase button and got myself a ticket to Paris for my birthday in October.

Cheese! Chocolate! Croissants! Start your diets! Get out the elastic waist pants! I'M GOING TO PARIS!

I went to Paris once before, in high school, clearly at the height of my fashion awesomeness. (I'm on the far left.)

Nothing screams Parisian like baggy jort-overalls.

But this trip will be different. Not only has my style savvy evolved over the last 15 years, I'm also a super mature adult.

I'm a slight francophile. That's what happens when you start French lessons at age 7. I have an unusual enthusiasm for pastries, and like Monica Geller, I could live in a house of cheese. My middle name is even French. Of course, since neither of my parents speak one word of French, I actually have a French boy's middle name, minus the cool accent. But whatever. So what better way to celebrate a milestone like my 32nd birthday than a trip to the (imaginary) motherland?

Although the only thing I've done so far is bought a plane ticket, I've already pretty much planned the entire trip in my head. And of course, I have compiled a list of movies for inspiration.

View from the Top - This is like the worst movie. Ever. Seriously terrible. But it's about flight attendants, and I used to be a flight attendant. And Gwynnie looks pretty cute in her yellow outfit strolling around Paris by herself. I figure that will be me. Looking gorgeous, strolling around the city in lipstick and heels, sitting on benches, staring wistfully out into the distance. Yeah, that's about right.

Amélie - This is the quintessential Parisian flick. If my visit is like this, I'm not coming back.

Midnight in Paris - While a lot of this movie takes place in the 1920s, it is beautiful nonetheless. I don't plan to do any time traveling while I'm there. If I do, it will be with my sports almanac so I can make a fortune betting, like Biff Tannen.

Something's Gotta Give - Diane Keaton always plays rich chicks. Basically I just want to go to Paris with her so she can buy me stuff.

Hotel Chevalier - This prologue to The Darjeeling Limited takes place in a Paris hotel room. It combines Paris, room service, Jason Schwartzman and Natalie Portman, all of which I am in love with. My long-term plan is to live a life of luxury in a beautiful Parisian hotel. This will be a location scouting trip for that.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

So, uh...

I've been struggling with this post because I knew I would want to write this:

Sorry about the hiatus. I've been getting treatment for depression.

This is a happy blog, with cupcakes in the title, so I won't go into too many icky details. Suffice it to say that this is a real condition, and it blows. I was drowning inside. I slowly stopped functioning. I didn't recognize my own face in the mirror. Horrible, poisonous words spewed out of my mouth. I hurt people I loved and pushed everyone else away. I really mean this…if you need help, get it.

Whew, that's out of the way.

Fast forward to July. Things are looking up. As a matter of fact, they're pretty freakin' sweet.

Life-Sweetness Exhibit A: The progression of my bathroom mirror photos... (I kind of have a thing, all right? Bite me.)

...from this: (I was smiling in both of these, I swear, no joke.) this:

(*Cool points if you can name the movie reference on my t-shirt.)
...and occasionally this:

Life-Sweetness Exhibit B: I can run 2.5 miles without stopping. So what if I get passed by hunched-over old men and ladies pushing strollers of triplets? I look really cute. Observe:

(*Cool points if you can name the TV show reference on my t-shirt.)


I did go and buy myself my first pair of for-serious running shoes. They's my magic shews. Pretty much pillows stuffed with muffins and puppies, wrapped in rainbows.
I had the perfect excuse to spend the bucks on them after I ruined my last pair...
(*Cool points for me for wearing a t-shirt that says, "Life is such a beach.")
Just try not to be impressed. Try.

Life-Sweetness Exhibit C: This one is bittersweet. Bwahahaha! Fuck that, Ramona is gone. I bought myself a new ride. I am the proud new mom of this hot little number...

Not only does she have working brakes and a floor that I can't see the road through...she has a moonroof!!!! Sigh...I love her.

So I suppose I'll need to rename the blog at some point. Being a bit of a free spirit, I figured I'd let my new car pick her own name when she's ready. If she picks Malibu Barbie or Chocolate Chip or Rainbow, I'll just have to live with it.