Thursday, December 2, 2010

Aliens I Wish NASA Had Discovered Today

So NASA found this stuff in a California lake today.


The headlines were more than a little misleading. Evidently NASA discovered...some weird lima bean-looking bacteria that sprout in arsenic. Awesome times ten. Now I'm sure to anyone who paid attention in biology class or passed did well in chemistry, this is kind of cool.

Yawn.

NASA, here are a few alien life forms actually worth a place in my Facebook status.

Yoda
He is the man, er whatever. He is a lean, green fighting machine. Plus he knows everything. And just try to talk like that. Stupid you'll sound. 

Howard the Duck
Not only did Howard kick the Dark Overlord's ass, he totally scored with babelicious rocker chick Lea Thompson. Sounds like one alien duck (??) I'd like to meet.

ALF 
I think a planet full of ALFs would be fantastic. He could help us get the damn cat population down.

Coneheads
I'm always looking for new companions with whom to consume mass quantities.

The Cocoon Dudes
Wilford Brimley never had to worry about his diabetes supplies again.

Ewoks
How are these adorable-icious little cuddly things even aliens? I bet somewhere on their planet we would also discover chocolate fountains and money trees.

E.T.
He has a thing for Reeses Pieces, he can make your bicycle fly, he has cute glow-in-the-dark insides, he loves beer, and he won't hog the conversation. Win.

Now, there are a few aliens I would rather leave on Pluto (if Pluto exists...has NASA figured that whole thing out yet?)...

Aliens
These are the scariest things I have ever seen. If these actually exist somewhere, we are unbelievably screwed. So Richard Branson wants to sell us all tickets into outer space, huh? Unless there is a Ripley clone seated next to me...with a bazooka...count me out, Dick.

Predator
Second scariest thing in outer space? This. Although AVP made this guy look a little wussy, I still wouldn't want to run into him in a dark alley. I mean, the Governator got his ass handed to him back in the 80s.

Spock
The hand thing, the ears, the Vulcan Mind Probe...I don't trust this guy.

The Three Morons from "Earth Girls are Easy"
Most. Obnoxious. Aliens. Ever. Really, Gina? Really?

2 comments:

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

quality pick with the cocoon guys. the wilford line is so true...

sometimes on particularly rough mornings*, i look like an ewok.




*every morning

Sandra said...

haha! This is hilarious! And I would totally love it if they discovered Alf!
As for the comment about passing chemistry, yeah, that was a pretty accurate presumption...who passes that class anyway? Wasn't me!