Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Airing of Grievances

In recognition of Festivus, I will now air my annual grievances.
  • Why does The New York Times Weddings section only showcase Jewish couples with strings of Ivy League degrees and 20-year age gaps?
  • LOLCats are not funny.
  • Who uses words like, "leverage" or "aggregate" or "spur" on a regular basis? Lame marketing people like me.
  • Raise your hand if you have run/are going to run/are currently running a marathon. Oh, everyone in the world? Good job.
  • Unless you are a 9-year-old girl, Twilight sucks. It sucks. Same for Harry Potter. Adults, these obsessions are totally creepy.
  • I got a $263 bill for sitting in a doctor's office for 10 minutes. No undressing. No exam. Nothing. High-deductible health insurance can bite me.
  • I just got a ticket from the City of Dallas for running a red light. I was caught on camera. I was in the intersection for...wait for it...0.3 seconds. I'm considering taking a photo of a $100 bill and sending it to them.
  • Zits and wrinkles. This is some kind of cruel cosmic joke.
  • How do you get through college with bad grammar and spelling? How?
  • Sarah Palin.
Moving on to the feats of strength. Where's my beer?

Happy Festivus, all.

1 comment:

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

i'm with you on the zits and wrinkles thing. -only, add receding chin/jawline and melasma (conveniently setting up shop on my upper lip).

i might as well move to a leper colony.