Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Stuff I Hate, a Non-Exhaustive List (Part 2)

  • Uggs. There's a reason these are nicknamed "Fuggs." It's because they are fucking ugly. Yes, looking sasquatchesque from the mid-fake-tanned-calf down is an awesome look. Especially when paired with skanky jorts. Why won't they just die already?

  • The word y'all in written form. Really? I hate this word enough when spoken. BUT. You took the time to reach for the shift and ' keys? The word you or the phrase you all are not only quicker to type, but they just sound, well, you know. If you still insist, remember it's y'all, not ya'll. Idiots.
  • Harry Potter and Twilight. I'm grouping these two into one insanely irritating bullet point. I read the first Harry Potter book. It was pretty entertaining. So I read the second. It was the same book. Maybe that's because I'm not nine years old - or 29 years old with an IQ of a nine year-old. I stand firm against Twilight. I guarantee I just offended at least three people.
 
  • Toe socks. WTF.

  • Hot weather. This blows considering I live in Texas. Where is it hotter? Arizona? The Mojave Desert? The Sun? It is not OK to run the A/C at night at the end of October, because it's still in the 80s outside. Know what I learned about this summer? Heat rash and $200 electricity bills. 

  • Empty airline exit rows. My ass is stuffed between an Elvis impersonator and 6'8", 350-pound  business traveler from Nebraska back here. There are two glorious roomy empty rows up there just begging for my company. Oh, but wait. What's that you say, Miss (crotchety old) Flight Attendant (on a power trip)? Those are reserved for passengers who've paid to sit there? You're kidding, right? Funny, I thought the exit rows were for exiting in an emergency. So since no one paid for the extra leg room, who helps when this plane is going down in a ball of flames? (I mean, yeah, probably no one at that point, but still.) If you are going to leave me back here with Elvis and Andre the Giant, I will be very hesitant to offer my former flight attendant skills should there be any kind of emergency. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, mkay? And bring me a Coke. In the can.

5 comments:

Emily said...

Christ I say y'all all the time. And write it...

allison said...

well, at least you spell it correctly. hick. ;)

Sara Louise said...

Hate Uggs. But will admit to briefly owning a pair, I then realized that they were stupid and gave them away.

I'm guilty of writing y'all at times. But like Emily, at least I spell it correctly.

Toe socks are just dumb and that Twilight picture IS exactly how that movie should have ended. That would have been much better.

theTsaritsa said...

I'm totally with you no Harry Potter/Twilight. I do not get the hype, but then again there are a lot of dumb people in the world.

And toe socks? Yuck...

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

i.fucking.hate.uggs. and being in southern california it's apparently a rule that you HAVE to wear them with little tiny mini skirts. ugh. just typing this makes me want to spit hate all over the next stupid high schooler i see.