Stuff I Hate, a Non-Exhaustive List (Part 2)

• Uggs. There's a reason these are nicknamed "Fuggs." It's because they are fucking ugly. Yes, looking sasquatchesque from the mid-fake-tanned-calf down is an awesome look. Especially when paired with skanky jorts. Why won't they just die already?

• The word y'all in written form. Really? I hate this word enough when spoken. BUT. You took the time to reach for the shift and ' keys? The word you or the phrase you all are not only quicker to type, but they just sound, well, you know. If you still insist, remember it's y'all, not ya'll. Idiots.
• Harry Potter and Twilight. I'm grouping these two into one insanely irritating bullet point. I read the first Harry Potter book. It was pretty entertaining. So I read the second. It was the same book. Maybe that's because I'm not nine years old - or 29 years old with an IQ of a nine year-old. I stand firm against Twilight. I guarantee I just offended at least three people.

 

• Toe socks. WTF.

• Hot weather. This blows considering I live in Texas. Where is it hotter? Arizona? The Mojave Desert? The Sun? It is not OK to run the A/C at night at the end of October, because it's still in the 80s outside. Know what I learned about this summer? Heat rash and $200 electricity bills. 

• Empty airline exit rows. My ass is stuffed between an Elvis impersonator and 6'8", 350-pound  business traveler from Nebraska back here. There are two glorious roomy empty rows up there just begging for my company. Oh, but wait. What's that you say, Miss (crotchety old) Flight Attendant (on a power trip)? Those are reserved for passengers who've paid to sit there? You're kidding, right? Funny, I thought the exit rows were for exiting in an emergency. So since no one paid for the extra leg room, who helps when this plane is going down in a ball of flames? (I mean, yeah, probably no one at that point, but still.) If you are going to leave me back here with Elvis and Andre the Giant, I will be very hesitant to offer my former flight attendant skills should there be any kind of emergency. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, mkay? And bring me a Coke. In the can.