Pseudo-Adulthood Chronicles: When I Feel Most Grown.

So I'm 30 years old, but there are some things that always make me feel like an adult. Which I clearly am not.

• Dry cleaning - This is like the ultimate grown-up errand. Every real adult's to-do list includes, "Pick up the dry cleaning." I have no special instructions regarding starch. I'm more like, "Please make sure this suit jacket doesn't still smell like happy hour when I come back for it." I'm not sure what it is about carrying a pile of freshly pressed slacks and blouses to my car...maybe it's simply the fact that in order to need dry cleaning, I have to wear professional clothing, unlike my typical uniform of knee socks, pizza-stained college t-shirts and pajama bottoms.

• Gas pumping - This one is simple to figure out. No need to pump gas unless you can drive, which means that this is a chore only for those 16 and older. Grown-ups. I wonder if you can ever completely feel like an adult in states like Oregon or New Jersey, where you can't pump your own gas. I highly doubt it.

• Having a P.O. box - I've moved a lot, right? So a few years back I finally wised up and got my very own post office box, to avoid the forwarding of forwarded mail from a twice-forwarded address. Making a special trip to the post office (with my very-own special key) just feels different than getting mail at home...along with infinite piles of those damned coupon sheets that never fail to bombard my mailbox at apartment complexes.  

• Buying booze - I gotta say, this is a major perk of adulthood. After you pass birthday number 21, I'm not sure any of the others are worth much. Long gone are the days of trolling liquor store parking lots for potential booze buyers and slipping them an extra $20. Not that I ever did that.

• Going to jail - Just kidding.